It’s always nice to see great feedback on your work. Social Wealth is a how-to-guide on building extraordinary business relationships. There isn’t any fluff just actionable strategies and tactics that anyone can do (including extroverts).
More than 50,000 have used the book to build great business relationships. You can get at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Social-Wealth-Extraordinary-Relationships-Transforming-ebook/dp/B00N9CA1QY/ref=nodl_
Here is my 2017 TEDxWilmington speech, “How to Get CoWorkers to Like Each Other.” I discuss how to build a high performing team quickly, along with data and research I collected over the last two years. I share my free team building game, Cards Against Mundanity, that you can use to increase performance, creativity and collaboration in 45 minutes or less.
I included the transcript below.
You may not realize it, but some of you are sitting on the secret to “showing up at work.”
Now, you might say, “Hey! I show up to work every day!”
But that’s not what I mean. I mean being heard, seen, even cared for at work.
And why would that matter? It’s the #1 challenge facing companies today. Almost 70% of US workers are disengaged.
And it’s costing businesses $550 billion in lost productivity.
Listen…I know I am not telling you anything that’s not shocking here.
Here are 3 steps to quickly forgive anyone. Everyone has had people in their lives that have hurt you or wounded you (emotionally, psychologically or possibly even physically). This could have happened at work or in our personal/social lives.
Many people have trouble moving forward because they are holding onto anger, resentment, and shame. They have never really dealt with their pain, and in many instances, just buried the pain deep inside themselves. They’ve built up walls to not get hurt again, but you also trap the pain in those walls.
This pain we have inside is ultimately what defines us unless we let it go. It’s time to take a sledgehammer to those walls and bust through!
Forgiveness is a requirement to move forward personally and professionally.
Here’s what’s great: Forgiveness is a unilateral step, which means that it only takes one person to forgive. So, this means that you alone are responsible for forgiving or accepting forgiveness. You don’t have to include the other person in the process.
Caveat: If you are trying to build a relationship or want to interact with the other person, then you have to include them in the process at some point.
Step 1: Write a note (either handwritten or digital) to the person who hurt you. Tell them what they did (and their role), how this affected you then, and how it is affecting you now. Next, tell them that you forgive them, and why. Say anything else you feel.
Step 2: Take the note, walk to a mirror, and close your eyes and think of that person. Next, open your eyes, and read your note to yourself, while looking into the mirror. Let your emotions flow out and don’t hold anything back.
Next, take a few minutes to process what just happened. The best thing is to take a walk outside. How are you feeling? Is there anything else you need to do to let this go?
Step 3 (optional): If you are trying to reconcile someone, you need to contact them and do it face-to-face. You want to tell them they are important to you (i.e. you care about them) and you have something important to say to them. Finally, you want to tell them you want them in your life moving forward.
When you meet, you want to show them you are grateful they came. I’d also recommend some physical greeting like a hug. Next, you want to read your note to them. It’s important to stay open, vulnerable, honest, direct and transparent during the conversation.
You also want to have them share their thoughts and feelings. Many time we create stories about what is going on in the other person’s mind that isn’t accurate.
At the end of the engagement, be clear on what you want to happen next. Do you need to meet again? Do you need to talk about this? Also, be grateful they took the time and courage to show up and engage.
Remember, you can’t control what anyone says or do. You can only control what you do or say. The most important part of the process is to take your power back and let it go!
We all have fear in our lives, but most of us misunderstand it. Most people try to avoid fear, and they believe it is the opposite of love. That fear is something bad and we should run from it. But that view keeps us trapped. Fear is actually good. It is in our brain and biology to keep us safe from real danger. Fear is also our compass directing us forward. When we embrace fear and use it fuel it allows us to move forward through uncertainty where we can truly grow. Today,we will discuss the two most common fears, failure and rejection, and how to move past them.
Let’s start with the fear of rejection. People often say to me, “I can’t do that. I know that person will reject me or not accept me.” This is exactly the negative mindset so many people have their entire lives. They miss out on so many people and opportunities because they sabotage themselves by creating a fear and pain in their mind that isn’t based on facts or reality. I’ve spoken to a large number of people over the years about their fears, and I’ve found fear is a self-made prison that holds people back.
