“There is no such thing as a ‘self-made’ man. We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into the make-up of our character and of our thoughts, as well as our success.”
—George Burton Adams
Do you ever…
- Feel awkward or fearful about approaching people to start conversations?
- Not know what to say when you’re chatting with someone and think they will judge you if you say something wrong?
- Not know how to break into group conversations?
- Feel uncomfortable or have social anxiety when you are out among acquaintances or people you don’t know?
- Struggle to build deep and meaningful relationships with others that leave you happy and truly fulfilled?
- Feel like you have little or no understanding of how to successfully build your business network?
- Not know how to advance your career or start your own business because you can’t meet the right people to help you (i.e., investors, board members, venture capitalists, mentors, or executives)?
- Feel frustrated in your sales or business development efforts because you can’t seem to find the right customers or partners?
- Struggle to influence others and build consensus within your company or business?
- Feel like you struggle to create a successful romantic relationship or interactions with the opposite sex?
- Feel overwhelmed and way too busy to find the time for meeting people and building relationships in any area of your life?
Don’t worry. We’ve all been there. Building highly successful and effective relationships and collaborations with others is extremely hard to do. And it’s not an innate skill we are born with; relationship building requires learned behaviors, skills, and habits. That’s why you have to build a focused plan for your life for all your relationships and develop the specific behaviors, mindsets, and habits to get whatever you want in your life.
Along with that…nothing in your life is compartmentalized; everything you do affects everything else. What you do in your personal life affects what happens in your career or business, and vice versa.
We are the sum of our relationships and the people we spend the most time with. We do almost everything in life with or through other people. Relationship mastery is essential to an extraordinary business and life. We’ve seen in our own lives and through the stories of other people, the pain, heartache, and destruction that can happen when we don’t master this area.
A critical life strategy and the new currency for creating an extraordinary life is GIVING (along with helping and inspiring others). When you let go of the mentality of “What’s in it for me?” or “What can I get before others get something from me?” you discover opportunities to feel fulfilled, happy, loved, and passionate, and you have the opportunity to create the life you really want to live. It’s whom you meet and what you create with them along your journey that will shape your life and the results you get. Bottom line: the sum of your relationships and the ability to master your own psychology, which includes your thought patterns, mindsets, emotions, and habits, will equal the quality of your life experiences. So if you want to create your extraordinary business and life, you have to get them both right.
With the rise of the Internet, technology, smartphones, and social media, an interesting—and alarming—shift has taken place in the last two decades. As a society, rather than becoming more capable of human connection, we have become more and more isolated from one another. Yet it’s relationships that are absolutely critical and essential to driving both professional and personal success.
By substituting social media and technology for real human connections, working remotely by ourselves, participating less in group activities and organizations, and living in a “rootless” world where people move from city to city often with very few connections, we’re eroding and losing touch with valuable communication, social, and human interaction skills. We are using social media and technology as a way to be noticed by others, and often seek validation through “likes,” “retweets,” etc. We are living in the online world more than the real world. A recent Harris Poll study found that Americans would rather give up sex than their smartphones.
Let’s face it, how many of us have our smartphones within arm’s length 24/7 or close to it? How many times do you see people texting continuously at a restaurant, bar, or event, when they are with friends, family, a date, or next to someone they could meet? People are not even present in their lives with people who are right in front of them!
With all of this going on, meeting new people and growing relationships on any level is getting much harder, not easier. People aren’t learning social, communication, or relationship skills in the education system. Instead they have to trust the school of hard knocks, their street smarts, a mentor/coach, or a book. Today, almost everyone is struggling and overwhelmed by how to put what they learn into action—how to find and develop new friends, business colleagues, and romantic relationships, and create a meaningful life. Many people are just giving up and feel hopeless and lost, and they disengage from the world around them or self-medicate with drugs, alcohol, prescriptions, etc. In this way, they create a cycle of failure in their relationships and enter new toxic relationships…over and over again.
All of this is creating a culture where people are substituting authentic relationships with virtual ones, and it is quickly eroding our ability to communicate in the real world. While networking sites such LinkedIn can be helpful, many people use tools like this to avoid making an effort to meet and communicate with people in the flesh. Firing off emails has its function in business, but picking up the phone, having a face-to-face lunch, saying hi to people down the hall, or scheduling an in-person coffee meeting is much more fulfilling and ultimately more rewarding. Plus, people don’t build deep, meaningful relationships on email or the Internet in the same way that they do in person.
To create lasting connections, we have to consciously buck the trend and take a much more deliberate, intentional, and focused approach to meeting people and relationship building. Doing this means being vulnerable, authentic, and transparent, and we must prioritize people and giving without having to get something in return. Being connected with other people increases happiness and love, creates unlimited opportunities, and motivates us to create the life we really want. To become the best we can be, we need to enlist others to help us. And we need to help others get what they want in order for us to get what we want. We also need to introduce new people into our personal, social, and business lives on a regular basis. Every person can impact your life in a different way no matter who they are, where they are from, or what they do. By not doing this, we miss out on the chance to learn and absorb ideas and inspiration from unexpected sources.
Right now, something is less than perfect in your personal and business life. You are looking to quickly and artfully build, manage, and grow new and existing relationships in your life. That’s why you’re reading this book.
Maybe your dating life isn’t what you want it to be. When you go out, maybe you stare across the room, hoping to meet someone, but at the end of the night, you inevitably go home alone, feeling disappointed and depressed. Or you have an existing relationship or marriage that has hit a low or rocky point, and you want to take it to extraordinary levels.
Maybe your networking skills aren’t where you’d like them to be and you are stuck. You know what you want from your network—top-level career choices, opportunities to build your own business, and financial freedom—but you have no idea how to build, cultivate, manage, and tap into it.
Maybe you are struggling in business because you can’t get proper mentorship in your company, you can’t take your sales career to the next level, you are unable to influence the board of directors or executive leadership, or build consensus with your executive team to move ideas forward.
Maybe your friendships are in need of a jumpstart. Rather than putting energy into friendships that don’t make you feel good, you want to start spending time with amazing people who are successful, active, positive, and fun, who challenge you and push you forward. Or perhaps tap into the social opportunities where you access amazing people and artists, enjoy exclusive access to events or parties, tap into leading thinkers or creative minds, enjoy amazing hidden beauty in the world, and much more.
Maybe you’re just tired of spending so much time alone, isolated, disconnected, frustrated, rudderless, unhappy, unfulfilled, and sleepwalking through your life.
If any of the above sounds like you, you’re in the right place. I’m going to help you master meeting people in a new way that will bring more people than you ever thought possible into your life. I will help you build deeper, more meaningful, and amazing relationships that unleash true joy, love, and happiness. The social life you’re going to develop is going to build your social capital in a way that will open the doors to limitless possibilities in every area of your life. You can do this on your terms, not anyone else’s. This means you won’t need to try to convince people to like you; they will like you for who you are (and for who you are becoming). I won’t let you fail.
How do I know this will work for you? Over the past decade, I’ve built a network of more than 15,000 people in Dallas alone, and that number continues to grow locally and globally. I’m meeting and interacting with hundreds of people every single week, and involved with dozens of organizations, along with planning small- and large-scale charity and nonprofit events in my free time. I’ve spoken to hundreds of leading experts on mastering psychology and overcoming obstacles and your past, creating influence and behavior change, developing social and communication skills, meeting and networking with people, building extraordinary relationships, creating your dream job, building friendships, and much more.
I’ve taught thousands of people to successfully do everything I’m going teach you. In fact, many people have met hundreds of new people in our very first month of working together, and some of those have turned into best friends, business partners, marathon buddies, relationships and marriages, and have led to extraordinary opportunities in their lives.
I’ve been in the trenches for more than a decade learning why people do the things they do in their personal and business lives, along with the motivations and the psychology behind their choices. I’ve learned to help people master their own psychology, along with crucial people and relationship skills, to get what they want.
This process will be simple, fun, and innovative, and although I‘ll teach you shortcuts and ways to create success significantly faster, you must buy into the entire process. Buy-in is necessary to learn anything in life because you must listen, be engaged and believe the information, and then act with certainty and focus to get the results you want. You will have to push past the resistance that comes up as well as the old programming—the way you have been doing things.
Sometimes you may have to go with the flow, enjoy the experience, and try out the information. Remember, you can always go back to your old beliefs and the life you had been living. Treat it like an experiment and do something new. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I know some people may be thinking, “Well, I’m not sure I can do this!” Trust me, you can. It doesn’t matter if your current social and communication skills are less than great or if you suffer from social anxiety and fears that are holding you back. Your educational or economic background, appearance, and intelligence doesn’t matter—you can do this.
If your life is in a rut, I will show you quick and easy ways to meet new people and help you create an authentic rapport with those around you very quickly, as you’ll also learn how to develop new and existing amazing relationships. I will also teach you how to create social capital—the key to your long- term success—by leveraging network groups and creating your personal brand. By adopting a few easy behavioral changes, you’re going to be dramatically more effective in relationships and collaborations in your personal and business lives than you ever thought you could be.
To get something you’ve never had before, you must do something you’ve never done. Those new experiences open our eyes and minds to what we can change, and the limitless and extraordinary opportunities that lie ahead in life.
I’m going to provide you with the playbook to create a life of social freedom. And I’ll show you how to do it in the shortest amount of time with the maximum impact. In the process, you’re going to have a lot of fun, and by the end you’ll have more confidence than you’ve ever had before.
One last thing I want to mention is a frustrating part of learning to master meeting people and building relationships.
There are books and information on business relationships and personal relationships, but really nothing that tackles all your interactions and relationships.
Instead, once you learn the information, it’s up to you to integrate it in different contexts. That gets really complicated and it can be overwhelming. Well, a significant amount of information can be applied to every area of your life, and every person you interact with could potentially be integrated in many different areas in your life. Of course, there are specific strategies and tools for business networking as opposed to dating and relationships. And I’ll be sharing those distinctions, as well as the commonalities, as we move forward together.
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