Here is what to do when you hate your boss at work (and how to turn it around).
Step one, I’m putting you on a no complaining diet. Here is why.
You’ve probably heard or thought this before:
“I’m so frustrated and annoyed. My boss (or someone else in your organization) doesn’t get it. I’ve tried everything to perform well and make them happy, but nothing is working. I’m exhausted, upset, and they just suck. Maybe I’ll have to quit or transfer to another team.”
75% of people quit organizations because of their managers, not the organization itself. Poor management is a very real issue. Only 10% to 15% of managers are self-aware, but 95% believe that they are. There are tons of other statistics that go along with this.
But how is that going to help you deal with someone challenging or problematic?
It’s not.
You are the problem. That’s right. It’s YOU not THEM.
Acceptance is the first step in the process. For people who have severe behavioral issues, they can’t change until they accept the current situation and what’s going on. The same goes for you.
You aren’t going to change your manager, colleague, skip-level boss or CEO the organization. You will also always have to deal with difficult people in any place you work.
How you manage yourself is the key.
You have to change. You only can control two things: your behavior/actions/feelings and how you react.
You can quit, but in many instances, that’s not the answer. Changing how you engage is.
Here is what you do (this example will focus on your boss, but it could be anyone)?
It’s your job to get on the same page with your boss. Don’t wait around for them to do that.
- Stop complaining. Zero complaints period. Start looking for other the positives: what you like about them, what you respect, what they do well, etc. Train your mind to focus on that. Your brain will collect whatever evidence you focus on. Seek and ye shall find.
- Your boss has to manage an entire team, and manage upwards to their boss. You don’t know what is entirely going on in their world. You don’t know their pressures. You don’t know their life is like 24×7. You may think you can do your boss’s job better than them, but you will only know that when you get a big promotion and much more responsibility.
- Every week do this with your boss. This will direct you to focus on activities/goals that are most important to him/her.
- “What is the single most important priority you have for the next week and month?” You will now know exactly what they are focusing on and why.
- “What can I do to help you?”
- Ask your boss’s boss every quarter what are his priorities, challenges, and goals. Do the same with other high level leaders. You will be thinking like a CEO, and will be in a much better position to help your boss.
What will happen?
Your boss will look at you like the go-to person. You will know what’s important to them and why. You will almost always be supporting them with their priorities. They will be able to count on you.
No matter where your relationship is with your boss, you can change it quickly. It starts with your willingness to change your mindset, actions, and feelings.
That will lead you to being much more successful, happy and fulfilled. It’s a win-win solution.
PS: You will be able to challenge your boss at one point once you have built up enough relationship equity and goodwill to do so. You’ll need to wait until that point to do so.
Next Steps
If you want to learn more and make rapid progress to become an extraordinary leader and significantly increase your key metrics, contact me for individual or group coaching, leadership and management development workshops or keynote speaking, https://jasontreu.com/services You can check out several dozen testimonials how coaching was business- and life-changing for individuals.
You can also download my free team building game, Cards Against Mundanity, that more than 5,000 people have played and more than 75+ organizations. I also conduct a team building keynote address and workshop that will increase performance, innovation,problem-solving and collaboration in 45 minutes. It’s based on university research and interviewing executives at most of Fortune/Forbes Top 10 Workplaces in 2017/2018.
