Do You Want to Be Right or Happy?
My dad only saw the world as black and white. He had to be right at all costs. He’d argue it was raining outside even if it was sunny, and try to get you to agree with him. He was stubborn and bullheaded.
That was his way. He alienated his family, friends, co-workers and boss.
Ultimately, he ended up being alone and dying alone.
He ended up being right, but he wasn’t happy.
Do you know anyone like that in your life? What’s the cost for them?
I share this message with almost every one of my clients because at some point they refuse to take into consideration that they may be wrong. They shut down and refuse to listen to other points of view.
Many leaders rather fight, argue and steamroll over people to get their way no matter the cost. They are so certain of their stance on an issue, they refuse to see the other side. Or even if they listen, they’ve already have made their mind up.
They alienate people in the process, and that type of leadership kills teamwork. You also hurt performance, retention, creativity, problem-solving and so much more.
When you lead with fear and a whip, do you think that brings out the best in people? Do you think they are more engaged? Do you think they will come to you with problems and suggested solutions?
The answer is obviously NO!
The skills you should use here is listening and empathy. Seek to understand the other person and the overall situation.
Why is the other person taking the position they are? What information do they have? What are they feeling? What’s their payoff or what are they trying to gain? Is there common ground to meet in the middle? If you have to push your agenda, how can you make the other person feel better about the situation?
These are some of the questions you should be asking yourself.
Because you’ll win the battle, but lose the war.
You’ll have a lot more stress, problems, and distractions that go along with it.
It’s a sure-fire recipe to lower your key metrics, get people to leave the organization and decrease engagement.
Seek to understand and listen first. You’ll see everything in your organization improve almost instantly.
So…do you want to be right or happy?
