Many times you can’t choose the emotions you feel (although your self-awareness and thoughts can dictate quite a bit). BUT you CAN choose which emotions you share (and react to).
Self-awareness and emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize your emotions and your emotional landscape.
It’s also in part recognizing filtering them and learning how to express them appropriately and respectfully in business settings.
The old adage think before you speak also works with your emotions!
Just say no immediately than say yes and then drop the ball because your too busy (and you knew you were when you said yes). Key point: Manage expectations appropriately.
If you’re not going to make time, don’t give people false hope. Just set boundaries and tell them the truth.
And perhaps you could help them in a week, month, etc. Tell them that and have them check back in with you.
Challenge: In meetings, not everyone’s voice is being heard, which limits problem solving, innovation and teamwork. This happens for several reason including:
1) People who talk the most sometimes have the worst ideas or they prevent other people from speaking because they monopolize the time.
2) Introverts often don’t speak up (for various reasons)
3) Some people fear speaking up or don’t believe they can add to the conversation
Solution: “Train” everyone in the team to speak up and show them it’s “safe” to do so. You’ll improve communication, collaboration and teamwork
How? Pair people up to pitch one another’s ideas in a team meeting.
Sometimes when people are smiling and happy they are really silently suffering on the inside. 15%+ of depressed individuals put on their happy face (see the below article). They call it “smiling depression.”
Support others by allowing them to be real and authentic instead of feeling pressured to put on a brave face, be positive and be in a good mood.
Learn to create a psychological safe environment where people can be where they are currently at emotionally. Otherwise you are creating a culture of impression making where people are acting to fit in. That’s toxic and kills morale and performance.
One of the main reasons people don’t maximize their leadership, managerial and career potential is they care much more about “impression making” than “improving, growing and making progress.”
Here is a good article on it that describes how Steve Jobs ego got in the way. http://fortune.com/2016/06/14/ego-steve-jobs/
Remember: Extraodinary performance and leadership is the combination of high standards, big visions, lofty goals and humility (i.e. egos that don’t get in the way.)
