We live in a culture that doesn’t want to deal with pain (hurt, failure, short comings, etc.) so it matastisides into blame and hate. It’s so much easier to cause pain than deal with pain.
It takes real courage and accountability to deal with your own pain.
360-degree feedback programs have received a lot of negative (and justified) attention over the last few years. Even Dilbert has parodied the process.
Recently, a client said, “I can’t wait to do another 360 degree review that tells me what I already knew and provides me with very little meaningful insights.”
These are areas such as an inability to compromise, conflict avoidance, micromanaging, poor communication or collaboration, etc.
Unfortunately, the 360-degree process is broken today and needs to be changed.
Led a fantastic and courageous global team at Google through team building workshop that builds deep and trusted connections to increase performance and innovation.
It fantastic and I showed them the business ROI along with it (not some woo-woo thing). We broke off into groups after the presentation and played by game, Cards Against Mundanity.
It was amazing to see people open and share their breakdowns, values, deeply held beliefs and life lessons.
I can already see they have huge opportunities to increase performance and innovation (and they will achieve it together). I’ll be excited to see how things progress over the next 90 days.
Here is your #6 business relationship supercharger, empowering yourself, from my book, Social Wealth…
Supercharger #6: Empowering Yourself
Your success is directly correlated to your psychology because your thoughts turn into the actions you take and the results you generate. Your mind is extremely powerful, and it will either propel you forward or cripple you. You need clarity, focus, and compelling motivations to move toward the life you want. It’s critical to remove inner conflicts that may be holding you back as well. You also need to create your business plan, and understand why you want what you want in your career. Don’t live your life as a sailboat hoping to drift to the right destination without a map or GPS; your chance of getting where you want to go is very low.
We form our own reality from the BS stories we make up.
We’re conspiracy theorists and a huge ball of emotions.
Once you embrace that truth, it’s way easier to live your life.
Unless something is 1+1=2 it’s a story!
Let it go.
Example: Leader of a group asks a question. You answer it. The person across from you rolls their eyes. You think (one) that person doesn’t like me, (two) they don’t like what I’m saying and/or (three) something about me bothers them. Well, all you know is they rolled their eyes. That’s it. You filled in the rest of the information. They could have remembered something they didn’t do. Got a text from a sick kid. Had a client yell at them.
It’s all a story you created in your mind. That’s your reality now unless you address it with that person.
It’s only TRUE because you MADE IT TRUE!
Make sense?
Here is what you do to resolve the story and write a new ending:
You address that privately with them by saying, “The story in my head is that….” That’s it. That disarms them immediately because of how you led into the conversation.
That’s “Why Your Stories Are Holding Back From Career Success!”
Cheers!
PS: Want to clear out the BS stories that are holding you back? Contact me for coaching options (including a free 20 mins where I’ll help you solve your biggest challenge).
From time-to-time, I’ll share quotes with you in areas that really impact me and others I come in contact with. Fear has been a really big theme lately with clients and friends. I really like this quote on Fear by poet, Audre Lorde, in her book A Burst of Light: and Other Essays (and from brain pickings).
“Seventeen days before she turned fifty, and six years after she underwent a mastectomy for breast cancer, Lorde was told she had liver cancer. She declined surgery and even a biopsy, choosing instead to go on living her life and her purpose, exploring alternative treatments as she proceeded with her planned teaching trip to Europe. In a diary entry penned on her fiftieth birthday, Lorde reckons with the sudden call to confront the ultimate fear:
I want to write down everything I know about being afraid, but I’d probably never have enough time to write anything else. Afraid is a country where they issue us passports at birth and hope we never seek citizenship in any other country. The face of afraid keeps changing constantly, and I can count on that change. I need to travel light and fast, and there’s a lot of baggage I’m going to have to leave behind me. Jettison cargo.”
Here is another quote from her:
“Survival isn’t some theory operating in a vacuum. It’s a matter of my everyday living and making decisions. How do I hold faith with sun in a sunless place? It is so hard not to counter this despair with a refusal to see. But I have to stay open and filtering no matter what’s coming at me…”
