Just say no immediately than say yes and then drop the ball because your too busy (and you knew you were when you said yes). Key point: Manage expectations appropriately.
If you’re not going to make time, don’t give people false hope. Just set boundaries and tell them the truth.
And perhaps you could help them in a week, month, etc. Tell them that and have them check back in with you.
Sometimes when people are smiling and happy they are really silently suffering on the inside. 15%+ of depressed individuals put on their happy face (see the below article). They call it “smiling depression.”
Support others by allowing them to be real and authentic instead of feeling pressured to put on a brave face, be positive and be in a good mood.
Learn to create a psychological safe environment where people can be where they are currently at emotionally. Otherwise you are creating a culture of impression making where people are acting to fit in. That’s toxic and kills morale and performance.
While going through my LinkedIn, phone book, text messages and other social channels I realized…I really have built up an AMAZING network! It’s fantastic to see all of the valuable professional & personal connections I’ve made. I’m fortunate to have done so. Can you say the same? If the answer is no, you may want to consider taking action. You never know, you could be one connection and/or “click” away from meeting a person who can change your business, career, and life.
You are one interaction away from getting everything you want. You just don’t know which interaction it will be. It’s time to invest for the long-term)
After speaking with more than 50,000 people on relationship building and business networking (and writing a best selling book, Social Wealth), here are things to keep in mind :
The best relationship builders and “networkers” are ones that are amphibious – they understand how to build successful relationships both online and offline.
They understand how to connect online and move offline to meet “in-person.”
They have a process to build high levels of trust and rapport in minutes by using vulnerable self-disclosures to allow the other person to share things they would only discuss with people in their inner circle.
They understand how to give with boundaries, while being unattached to outcomes. They also know what to ask for and how.
They know influencers and well-known individuals greatest fears and hot-buttons and how to navigate around them.
And that’s just the start…
BOTTOM LINE: There’s no time like NOW to reach out and contact that person you always wanted to speak to, meet in person, mentor you, partner with you, etc.
Don’t be afraid. What’s the worst that could happen? They may ignore you? They don’t respond?
What if they do? What would be possible if one of the 50 people you reached out wanted to engage with you?
It’s a numbers game (so don’t expect every person to respond). Plus, timing is everything.
Get started today!!! Remember, you are only one interaction away from getting everything you always wanted, you just don’t know which interaction that may be!!!
Explainer white-board video for my corporate team building workshop and game, Cards Against Mundanity. More 5000+ people have played including organizations such as Amazon, Google, Worldwide Express, Microsoft, Oracle, PRSA, Chambers of Commerces, and many others. Clients see 20%+ increase in trust, team closeness & engagement in 90 minutes. That translates into double-digit increases in their key metrics. You’ll see your team performance skyrocket immediately after the workshop.
Kate Stott, Director of Enterprise Operations at WorldWide Express
“Getting to work with Jason was a game-changer. I thought my team was close before playing Jason’s Cards Against Mundanity, but seeing how much they bonded during the hour we spent playing was amazing. I cannot stress enough – ANY relationship will be strengthened by playing this game. I’ve played with family members, friends and coworkers in other departments and the results speak for themselves. Beyond that, Jason has continued to offer his insights & suggestions on how I can better navigate difficult situations in the workplace. I’m a better leader with a higher functioning team after my time with Jason.”
Google senior leader, Albert Grazi (head of the video solutions group)
“The workshop and game were excellent: the team was very appreciative of the event, and it kept coming up as one of the best experiences they’ve ever had. As a manager, that was great to hear. Throughout the following two days, we hosted some guests from other groups, and we asked them to answer random cards in front of the audience: some of their answers were surprisingly deep and instantly helped to establish trust between them and our teams.”
According to the Small Business Administration (SBA), about 33 percent of all businesses will fail during their first two years. This is why it’s important that business owners are guided by principles to reach company goals every day. We asked the experts to share the business philosophy they live by that helps them stay focused as decision makers.
Only 10 percent to 15 percent of leaders are self-aware, but 95 percent believe that they are. If you don’t understand your blind spots, patterns, emotions and how those affect others, you’ll make many mistakes, lose clients and have poor employee retention. Self-aware leaders deal with conflict much better and enter into difficult conversations on a regular basis. They let their ego cloud their decisions much less often. They seek to understand first by listening vs. trying to tell others why they are right. Self-aware leaders are vulnerable, and they share with others, which builds deep relationships much quicker.
Here is one I really liked:
3. ‘The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it took place.’ — George Bernard Shaw
Every month, Dr. JP Pawliw-Fry surveys more than 30,000 people in the workplace through the Kellogg School of Management’s Executive Education program to narrow in on the traits and qualities that differentiate the top from the poor performers. He found the best leaders never avoid the hard part of a conversation. Most of us will omit the last 8 percent of a difficult discussion, assuming the other person understood what was implied. This creates tension and frustration when nothing changes since the two didn’t fully understand each other. For everyone to work at maximum efficiency, it’s crucial to finish up that last 8 percent of the tough conversations.
Are you their friend or enemy? You are in one or the other camp (whether you like it or not). You have to earn the right to get in their inner circle. It’s how our brains are wired.
To fast-track biz success, you’ve got to build high level of trust quickly. You do that not by pitching them, but getting to know them personally. You need to create the feeling (in 5 mins or less) that you’ve known the person forever. You do that by leading with vulnerability and opening them up.
Why? Because belonging is our DNA. Everyone wants it and they can never get enough of it. People want to open up and share, it’s just most people don’t care & don’t want to listen. People don’t want to hide behind their mask. So be the person that allows them to take it off.
How? Ask them deep personal questions the first time you meet them. Uncomfortable? Yes, but the research proves it works. The other way is slow and doesn’t work.
What questions (here are two examples):
1) What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in the last year? Why?
2) What’s a setback that turned into a blessing in disguise? Why was it?
You can also get my team building game (cardsagainstMundanity.com) for free and play it with them. Use two questions that you both answer. It will take you 3-4 minutes.
Do the opposite of the other 99% and you’ll skyrocket your results.
Try it and see how it works. You’ll be surprised how easy it is.
