Here’s a good article to spur a discussion on the difference between giving, taking and matching. It’s focused on parenting, but it can be equally applied in the workplace.
Adam Grant has an excellent book on this topic, Give and Take, I read it many years ago when it first came out. I’ve also have the privilege to speak to Adam several times over the years.
The key with giving is to have boundaries and priorities. Then you can give freely without the burden of a certain set of expectations.
Why does this matter? Building great relationships is like a bank account. You have to make deposits before you can make withdrawals. So when you lead with giving you can speed up the relationship building process.
The challenge can be not everyone will reciprocate. But there is no way to know that before you do an act of giving.
Self-sacrifice by harming yourself or allowing yourself to be taken advantage isn’t generosity. It’s actually selfish & self-inflicting pain.
Selflessness isn’t the issue. That obviously can be good. It’s the application of selflessness.
Comparison is the thief of job & saboteur of success. Remember to swim in your own lane.
Why? Because worrying about what others are doing won’t help you and will demotivate you.
It also puts you in a scarcity mindset and you tend to look at the world in terms of a finite set of resources (ie someone has to win and someone has to lose).
What can you do? Here are two specific things.
Acknowledge that other people have a different skills than you or that they have knowledge that could benefit you. A 2018 study published in Computers in Human Behavior found that people who think, “This person has a view on an issue that I’m dealing with,” enjoy better mental health than those who think, “This person is better able to achieve the task than I am.”
What information does that person have that could be helpful to me?
What I can learn from this individual?
What knowledge, ideas, or areas of expertise does this individual have that could be valuable to me?
Rather than judge people, stay curious. Look for opportunities to learn and you’ll start to see that other people aren’t necessarily better or worse than you–they’re just different.“
There is a TON of research that shows if a manager checks-in once a week with their employees their performance typically will significantly improve over bi-weekly or less. It makes complete sense when you think about it.
Why? Here are seven reasons why weekly check-ins with employees matter.
Show you care
Help them stay on track and prioritize what’s most important
Help them remove obstacles and roadblocks
Provide feedback and support
Challenge their thought processes and help them see better strategies, solutions, and tactics.
Results from performance reviews won’t be a surprise
Increase employee retention because 75% of employee quit because of poor managers and 90% of employees state their relationship is a top factor to stay at their company (and with their performance).
But this it depends on how the manager engages with their employees and the questions they ask. Weekly check-ins alone don’t ensure success.
So the next question that naturally arises is: What should a manager ask?
Here are four questions that you can go through in 10 minutes or less. It will ensure priority alignment and maximizes the chances for success that week.
What are your top three priorities for the week (and why)?
What’s going well with them?
What are your challenges? Where are you stuck?
What specifically can I do to help you?
Here are six additional questions managers can also use incorporate with their employees.
1) “What’s the best use of our time
today?”
Or “What’s top
of mind for you right now?”
2) “What does your ideal outcome(s) look like for the week?”
3) “What do you think is the best course of action for each priority?”
4) “Are you unclear about anything?”
5) “Do you have enough/right resources?”
6) “What was the most useful part of our conversation today?”
Honored to be the keynote speaker at 2019 HR Symposium for the Columbus, Georgia SHRM Chapter on October 24th 2019. The theme is: RIDING THE RAPIDS OF HUMAN RESOURCES. Grab your life vest and join hundreds of HR professionals from all over the State of Georgia and east Alabama at our 11th annual fall Symposium as we learn to ride the Class VI rapids of HR! This year”s event will feature several high impact speakers, concurrent sessions, and much more.
My interactive keynote presentation will be on building high performing teams and engaged cultures. Attendees will be playing Cards Against Mundanity in small groups to experience how to build high levels of trust, closeness, and teamwork in minutes.
Here’s an overview (and more information on my keynote speaking can be found here):
Think about the best team you’ve ever been on. The team that was the most collaborative, connected, and productive. How did it feel to be connected to something bigger and feel like you could accomplish anything? What if you could recreate that feeling and success on every team you were on? What if you could accomplish this across your entire company?
That feeling (and success) you just thought of is the most powerful business asset. It’s the foundation for a highly successful “culture and people strategy.”
In this interactive presentation, attendees will learn how to “dial in” to the right behaviors to build a high performing culture and maximize teamwork and employee engagement in minutes. They’ll also play the Cards Against Mundanity game (in small groups) so they’ll experience how these strategies will work for them (including how to skyrocket trust in minutes).
Attendees will walk away with deep relationships with other attendees and be much more engaged at the conference.
The presentation based on research studies where participants built their closest relationships in their lives with a complete stranger.
HR professionals can also use these strategies with hiring, new employee onboarding, conflict resolution, trainings, and many other areas.
More than 25,000 employees have played Cards Against Mundanity at Amazon, Southwest Airlines, Ernst & Young, Google, Gillette, Microsoft, Oracle, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Worldwide Express, CareHere, Oklahoma City Thunder (NBA team), Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, Novartis, Merck, Vonage, and many others.
Attendees will:
1. Learn the “secret” strategies to quickly maximize engagement, teamwork, culture-building and employee retention.
2. Discover how to build high levels of trust both internally and externally with third-parties to instantly create great working relationships, reduce conflicts and maximize productivity.
3. Walk away with best practices tools (including a free copy of Cards Against Mundanity PDF version) that can they can implement right after the session to improve company culture and employee engagement.
4. Use the strategies from the session to influence others and get more buy-in for HR initiatives.
3.0 HRCI Recertification Credits & SHRM PDCs will be applied for those attending.
I had a chance to briefly meet the HR Rockstar, Wendy Dailey, at HR Florida 2019 at the end of August. We got a chance to speak for a little while on the phone a few weeks earlier on teamwork, trust, employee engagement, and a few other topics.
“Here we are again, still, talking about Employee Engagement. Constantly. The TOP conversation in HR. And why? Because we continue to get it wrong. Any why do we continue to get it wrong? Because we are looking for that One Thing. Just tell us what to do, we seem to be asking the speakers, the writers, but make it quick and easy because we’ve got a lot of “real” work to do.
But here’s the not-so-secret secret: Employee Engagement means work. Ongoing works. There is no one-and-done for employee engagement. Engagement isn’t about foos-ball, after-work drinks or potlucks. All of those come out of the one thing you must do. You need to TRUST your employees and gain their trust.”
It only makes sense. Teams in conflict hurt not only their performance but cause a ripple effect in a company and with everyone they touch.
I’ve developed a completely new process that flips the workplace conflict resolution process. It takes me 50% less time than other companies who do this. How do I know? Many times, I’m not the first company they have brought in.
Here’s a snippet:
“Be willing to apologize. Each party will have their own share in creating, fostering, or engaging in the conflict. “Most people don’t apologize during workplace conflicts. That hurts the relationship and things never get resolved,” says Jason Treu, author of Social Wealth and host of the Executive Breakthroughs Podcast. Just remember that “I’m sorry you’re upset” is not an apology.”
